Somebody

Someone once asked me why I named my online “brand” Nomadic Affair, and my answer used to be that I had always dreamt of travelling the world on my own, moving from place to place wherever my heart leads me. It seemed like such a nice goal to attain at that time.

But, I think I have a more accurate response now.

Have you ever felt like you
never belonged, no matter
how far, how wide you run
into the ends of the earth
searching for a place to
call home after a long
long day; tired bones and
tired soul, only to find that
these cushions are stale,
cold, uninviting, without a
warmth in the world;
not a day goes by without
a niggling feeling that
something just isn’t
right; something just isn’t
complete, and you can
feel it right in the
very depths of your
gut; and it —
wrenches.

Have you ever felt like you
just don’t seem to fit while
you watch people left and
right fit seamlessly like
well cut jigsaw pieces,
forming a pretty picture
while you are the faulty
spare piece with no place;
no place to turn to;
no place to return;
no return.

And so you run; run
like the wind
against the wind;
once again going where
your heart decides on
a willful whim while
knowing that you are
running out of options;
and like a poor protagonist
in a video game;
out of life and out
of chances.

You see bright lights
ahead, squinting your
eyes in the darkness;
the runaway train that is
life, coming at you hard
and so, so fast — I know
I’ve evaded this particular
beast, but today I
just am devoid of
my usual defiance to fight
the odds and so I
close my eyes as the
blinding light draws near
and I sigh and I let it

take me.

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